J and I decided to do a totally sarcastic and goofy ride report at Lake Hodges. I would gear up in full DH armor and ride the Nomad. We would then take pictures of me acting like the trail is gnarly and crazy and only the most talented DH riders could handle it. In case you don’t know, Lake Hodges is considered a Beginners trail. It’s a real good place to take someone who has never ridden before.
I posted it on a message board I frequent and it was a real hit. So, here it is. I don’t think you need to be a mountain biker for the humor to translate. I hope you enjoy.
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Lake Hodges: The Holy Grail of Downhill!!
I never see any Hodges TR’s–probably because it’s so effing gnarly no one here has the balls. Since I recently got a SC Nomad, I figured I had a worthy platform to tackle the beast. It was confirmed here that my thoughts were correct: I should take it to Hodges. Even though I had no chain guide, I braved the World Cup-ish conditions and tore through it anyway…cuz I’m AWESOME!!!!
Gearing up in the parking lot, I was already getting REALLY nervous!!

I decided to warm up with a pretty sizable huck. I knew my AWESOMOCITY would get me through it:

This squirrel fell victim to my AWESOMENESS. Poor little bastard never had a chance:

Once on trail, I decided to hit some of the insane jumps. Someone notify the FAA!! I mean, I was up SO high that I got a nose bleed. Well, it was either the altitude or the fact that it was really dry out and I have delicate sinuses. Either way:

Here I am hitting one of the nastiest rock rolls you will ever come across. Don’t hate the player. Hate the game!!!!!

It’s amazing the camera was able to get the shot. I was shredding this super crazy DH section. AWESOMENESS personified. Can I get a HELL YEAH!!!

You have to take the good with the bad on extreme DH rigs sometimes, and push up the really steep sections. They really need to install a lift here:

At the top of a rather sketchy section, I contemplate the best line. And AWESOMENESS, always contemplating AWESOMENESS:

Can you say AWESOME!!!!! You know you want to. Go ahead. Say it. Ahh yeah!! That’s the ticket!!

More “air acrobatics”. All that was missing was a busload of school children for me to jump over–and give them some AWESOMENESS to aspire to!!

Extreme Downhill, Hodges Addition!!!

Dropping in, yet again. Sweating AWESOMENESS and crapping excellence!!

So nice I had to hit it twice. Betta RECOGNIZE!!!

Smooth as…as…as…umm…err….uhh…AWESOME!!!

This jump was so AWESOME, I’m pretty sure I heard angels singing. I think it was “Taking Care of Business” by BTO, but I’m not sure:

And that’s all I have–and yes, you’re welcome. I took about 237 more pictures, but by that time the brightness of the AWESOME emanating from me blinded the camera and none of them came out.
I heard that there were Pandas here, but I never saw any. Curious!! They were probably all scared of the AWESOME that filled the air and were all hiding. Understandable.
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And that’s the ride report!!
I did actually use the opportunity of me being at Lake Hodges in full DH armor and riding the Nomad to do 1 serious feature. It’s a nasty rock roller I’ve been eying up for quite awhile. It’s about a 2 1/2′ sheer vertical rock face, leading into a super steep and sandy run-out, down to a rocky creek crossing. The pics don’t do it justice (they never do), but hopefully you can get some sense of it.
The rock:

Sizing it up:

Here we go!!

SUCCESS!!

Then J decided to mess around with a few of the pics in PhotoShop:
Superman!!

Spawn (comic book character):

Jumping Hodgee the Lake Hodges Monster:

Domo-zilla is after me!!!

Until next time, seek your bliss…
Ride lots!!